Showing posts with label Riff Raff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Riff Raff. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Go - Go - Gadget Rhythm

For those of you readers who have never been to Washington DC, one of their favorite claim-to-fames is the creation of Go-Go music. Typically, youll recognize this music as that black dude who hangs out side the Metro stops, drummin' away on buckets, pots and pans, cowbells, or whatever kind of percussion he can find. All done at an extremely fast pace.

Expanding on this during the 1970s, a drum circle began in Meridian Park/Malcolm X Park in the Northwest quadrant of Washington DC. It is currently the longest running drum circle in the nation. Gathering every sunday from 3-9 pm, drummers are invited to contribute to a rhythm that makes you drum, dance, or just sit in complete enchantment.

Last weekend, not only did I have the opportunity to visit the infamous drum circle, but I actually partook in the experience. Bringing my bass conga at the initial get-go at 3:00 sharp, myself and about 3 others literally started it. "Hosted" by a man named Experience ( an overweight black man wearing a bucket hat, a black kilt, and an american flag sleeve-cut tee) we jammed until the neighborhood rocked and the kids were a dancin'.


As you may have caught, drumming is not the only joy to be offered. Some attend just to feel the groove and dance the hot summer heat away. Ranging from short haired middle aged women to freaky youngens, all type and colors get down to the sound of the beat.


If your every in the neighborhood on those sundays, grab a triangle, a symbol, or a textbook and go bang away. You wont regret it.

(Apologies for the video quality - apparently BlackBerries arent all their talked up to be)

Keep on Skankin'
Abe Froman

Monday, May 31, 2010

Sorry...

For the delay. I got extremely tired of directing myself to our page and finding a 2 week old post. PSA-we need the help of the entire staff again. Until the horse is re-sattled, here are some great pictures.
Silly Donovan McNabb

Funny Boner Kid

Shaq loves Juice

Helpful Help


..See ya after finals!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What a bunch of bull(testicle extract)!

The notion that Redbull gives you wings is as easily accepted as Flu shots, body shots, and Lil Jon's club banger "Shots, Shots, Sho-Sho-Sho-Shots!" However, no on really takes the time out of their day to figure out what exactly inside of that 16oz. aluminum can of man that actually gives them the wings.
Redbull, and many other similar, yet less appealing, energy drinks have a combination of ingredients that makes us feel like a 12 yr old at your neighbors sleepover party all hopped up on mountain dew. Some might think caffeine-but does coffee give you wings? No. Its not the caffeine, bra, its the Taurine!
Sure, taurine sounds safe, it is an organic amino acid. Its found naturally in foods such as different types of seafoods and meats. Does the shit actually work?
A review published in 2008 found no documented reports of negative health effects associated with the amount of taurine used in energy drinks, concluding that "The amounts of guarana, taurine, and ginseng found in popular energy drinks are far below the amounts expected to deliver either therapeutic benefits or adverse events." Hmm...
While accessing the Redbull official website, I wanted to find a statement which outlined the proper usage; I found 5.
1.Water and appropriate sports drinks should be used for rehydration as outlined in the NFHS Document “Position Statement and Recommendations for Hydration to Minimize the Risk for Dehydration and Heat Illness.”
2. Energy drinks should not be used for hydration.
3. Information about the absence of benefit and the presence of potential risk associated with energy drinks should be widely shared among all individuals who interact with young athletes.
4. Energy drinks should not be consumed by athletes who are dehydrated.
5. Energy drinks should not be consumed without prior medical approval, by athletes taking over the counter or prescription medications.

So..don't drink Redbull when you're dehydrated, or an athlete, or young, or on medication. Shit, I literally fall under every category.

As the Wu would say, "Protect ya neck!"

I wish the song was called "Protect your heart, mental stability, and overall well being. I guess well just have to wait for their 16th album.

Redbull doesn't give you wings, folks, it gives you a placebo effect and a damn good belly ache!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A jaahhhbbiiiieeee!!!

Bing, bang, boom. That fast. Start college, meaningless testings, blackouts, hookups, bed pisses, public indecency, fights, football games, spring concerts, bank overdrafts, graduation. Cheers to all those who told you "have fun, four years goes by so fast."
Man I bet those guys really wish we found them to say, "hey, you were right," just to be one-upped with a good ol' American "Told ya so."
Now the easy part.
Youre either
A: A dickless lizard who is too scared to enter the work world so you entertain the idea of graduate school, Euro-tripping, or living the dream from home
OR
B: employed.

As of today, the American unemployment rating is 9.9%. So much for roundin' up...
In 1976, the year my mother graduated college, the US was looking at a 7.7% rating-not too bad.

With government programs, internships, and entry level jobs, I find all of the hoop-la surrounding the difficulty to get a job now a days to be horse crap. I will be the first to say that I am ecstatic about the fact that I have secured a job starting after graduation, but I am by no means the "elite."

That being said, I feel that recent college graduates are too quick to accept the notion that "things are tough" and that "the current economy" is going to prevent you from getting a job. If anything, employers are looking for hungry graduates, fresh off their finals, and willing and able to work more proficiently for probably far lower wages.
Look at this guy:(!)


The moment you start believing that there are no jobs available is the exact time that jobs become unavailable. It is an insult to our generation to go for 4 years, funded by your parents hard labor, only to get your degree and shit the bed.
Call it a cry or a PSA, just don't blame it on the economy.
Don't fret, don't complain, and don't accept failure. Look at fatty, he's fully aware and has been seeking benefits from a high unemployment rating and he still finds a way to smile!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Marketing gone Mad

Thanks to our genius friends on Madison Avenue, we have now possibly the worst marketing idea to hit the streets since Digimon key chains.

In the Spring of 2010, MillerCoors introduced a new concept that they believed would revolutionize the "pour", the "chug" and the "dump beer on your passed our frat buddy". Its called the Vortex Bottle and it has - no way! - specially designed grooves. Supposed to create a more even flow of "that great pilsner taste" as it comes through the corkscrew bottle neck.

A bit like a ribbed Trojan condom, the interior of the bottle has grooves that resemble the barrel of a gun. Yes, thats right. The Miller Vortex bottle took drinking to THAT level.

The idea behind the stupidity is that the beer will actually get caught in what is known as the coriolis effect as gravity forces it to take a downward-centripetal force. This effect can be seen as a toilet bowl flushes or in an elementary classrooms with our favorite two-liter toy. Those things were flippin sweet!



Did MillerCoors actually expect us to chug for more than 3 seconds while spinning our bottle/heads in a circular motion to get maximum velocity? This is beer were talking here! Are we forgetting that the average college student hold onto a bottle of beer for, maybe, ten minutes? C'mon man, lets focus our attention on better things. Really.

I actually had the privilege of trying one of these out. As I purchased the 18-pack of bottle necks, I unintentionally grabbed the one that came equipped with such baggage. No wonder they were so cheap. Myself, as well as three other accomplices were mezmerized as we peered into the innovative neck appearance, all wondering how it would affect our consumption. Not one bit.

I've heard of some dumb ideas - I highly recommend you check them out for an absolute laugh -but I believe this one takes the cake. Clearly, some things are for some people and not others. But this has absolutely no affect on it whatsoever.

If you see a case at the liquor store, pick one up and try it. At least they're cheaper than normal bottlenecks.

Keep chugging my friends,
Abe Froman


Monday, April 19, 2010

Always double-down on an 11

Some advertisements claim that America runs on Dunkin'......I think we all know that America runs on fast food. McDonalds vs. Burger King, Hardees vs. Rallys, Jack in the Box vs. Sonic...you name it. While the battle for fattening supremacy continues, it is safe to say that the well being of American society is always the loser. See the below pic..

The battle royale over royale with cheese may finally have come to an end. Introducing the 1380 milligrams of sodium packed DOUBLE DOWN from KFC. This monstrosity contains 540 calories and 32 grams of fat.
Take two fat pieces of fried chicken and stuff inside of it bacon, monteray and pepper jack cheeses, and their signature "special fat sauce."

The average person burns about 100 calories with every mile they run. 1 Double Down=5.4 miles, just short of a 10k.
The recommended level of sodium per day is 1500 milligrams, for a fatass that is.
While doing some research on the company website, I found the slogan for the manwich... “Don’t just feed your hunger … crush it!”
The only justification of this phenomenon is that KFC could not, and would not, be outdone by any fat factory in the world. How can you defend identity as the "finger lickin' good" chicken palace while offering sandwiches with bread? Bread??? That just would not be realistic. If you want to be a man now-a-days you gots' to be a fatass. Quite frankly, the more I think about it, just being fat is like just being kind of cool. Times are changing, and super-fat is the new age fat.

Well, folks, thats all for now. Just make sure that next time you Double Down you make sure not to bite into your finger. Just because its' finger lickin good doesnt mean its good to lick (or eat) your fingers. Just sayin'

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Good Ol' 9th Green at 9 Trick

As of Sunday night, the glamorous Master's golf tournament comes to a final close. Phil Mickelson, the 40-year-old, three time Master's winner, and husband to a walking bombshell, walks away with yet another turf-colored green Jacket. Can only imagine the un-disclosed amount of winnings he earned. Sorry Tiger, better luck next year...

The Master's is a tournament one of utmost respect. As one of the highest respected tournaments in golf, the Master's is regarded as the tournament of champions. They are posh, they know it, and they don't give a flying golf ball.

Fun Master's Facts:
  • The only let Tiger Woods (a semi-African American golfer) play on their all-white course because of prior credentials. Who says racism is dead?
  • An announcer was once fired from his station for referring to the spectators of the tournamet as the "crowd" and not the "patrons". Seriously?
  • The color of the fairway matches the victor's jacket color to the mili-pixel. O.C.D. style.
  • Two of the signers of the Deceleration of Independence are buried in Augusta, Georgia, home of the Master's tournament. The real American dream.
  • Fred Couple's a top competitor of this years competition, finishing 2 under, has been a major contender since 1984 (only winning once in 1996). Keep on truckin' old man, keep on truckin'.
Golf, once believed to be an acronym for Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden, is now a sport of versatility. With a 16 year Asian old on tour, a few chicks here and there, and even Happy bringing new sings to the game, there is no telling where the sport will go next.

Even Charles Barkley's workin out his kinks, now lets see yours...



Until next time fellas,
Abe Froman

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Fat (Ass) Sandwich


Among New Brunswick's claims to fame are: The Scarlet Knight's 2006 victory over Louisville, Donald Sutherland, and the Greece Trucks.

These mobile obesity advocates began in the 1980's with a limited menu selection that has since then, grown immensely. Their creation's began when a drunken individual, Darrell, stumbled up to the window and demanded some of the worlds most un-healthy items to be wrapped up in dough and dubbed the concoction the "Fat Darrell". Yum!

Ingredients:
  • French Fries
  • Chicken Fingers
  • Mozzarella Sticks
  • Marinara Sauce
  • Lettuce & Tomato (to balance nutrition)
  • Crack Cocaine
If that line up doesnt make you vom a tablespoon of your last meal into the back of your mouth, then youve probably had one before and possibly even enjoyed it. Shit, I know I have. (Eaten one, not the vom part)

Anyway, here's where most of the attraction comes from; if you are able to eat three of these suckers in under fifteen minutes, you not only get to coin the creation you have just concocted, but you can name it as well. Perffect market for drunk college students stumbling down College Ave at 3:00 am.

Americans, being the fattest basterds on the face of the earth, put that challenge to shame. Man Vs. Food's Adam Richman even attempted the feat but was turned down.


There are now over 24 official Fat Sandwiches. However, there are many unofficial ones, my favorite being the Fat Bitch, which has become dubbed as the Fat Beach for label purposes.

In reaction to this challenge being absolutely destroyed by upcoming classes of fat asses, the challenge has now upped to five sandwiches in under an hour. FIVE SANDWICHES! This is not only abnormal, its inhumane. We have become the culture that rewards our own ability to defy human nature; eating to the point of discomfort and then being pleased with a rewarding outcome. God Bless America.

Typical events that occur in the parking lot of the Greece Trucks:
  • Indian "gangsters" trying to pick fights. Generally with no avail.
  • A bare chested girl - did I mention this is a college town?
  • Someone you know, want to know, or wish you hadn't known.
  • Policemen sitting in cars idly. Serve and protect baby.
  • Rafi Richman bumming cigarettes from anything with a heartbeat.
If your ever in the New Brunswick/Rutgers area, stop by theses truly unique trucks and if you dont order one of your own, at least stop to check out the scene, which should certainly be entertaining.

Your Fellow American,
Abe Froman

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The TRyfecta

The MC Fraternity, conditioned from years of excellence, may have just reached its' pinnacle.
The Trifecta: Sunday, February 21, 2010. Not one, not two, Three. Three fuckin blog posts in the same day. That's similar to, say, Jesus coming home, or free Netflix for life.


The Study of the Trifecta:


Horse racing:the formula for this is easy; land the trifecta and see big bucks. The requires you, the compulsive gambler. to predict, in correct order, the horse that will finish first, second, and third.

Politics: this situation refers to an executive of government appointing another elected official to a position and then appoints his successor. in other words, the executive can appoint an elected official to a position, appoint another elected official to the other's previous position, and finally appoint anyone to the second official's spot.

Other sport: basketball, referring to the good ol' three point shot. Refer to Michael Redd. Lacrosse, hockey, or really any scoring of three points/goals. You know what they say, sometimes a hat trick, always a trifecta.

To some, Three is the Magic Numer:


Regardless on your take on the trifectin' three, its' power, today atleast, can't be doubted.
There are three wishes, three leprecons, three amigos, three stooges, three muskateers, three little bears, three prince or princesses,three toed sloth, three witches, three weird sisters among others, fuck, even third eye blind.

To the girl scout in all of us.

-PicoDG

Plan B


If you have a TV and/or a social life, you've most certainly heard about the worlds beloved golfer, Tiger Woods, and his recent sexual and marital escapades. In November of 2009, his pristine reputation, life, and pretty face, were all soiled as his sexual affairs became uncovered in the press and face became covered in bandages.

Tiger woods, husband to Elin Nordegren, had been having multiple affairs with various sexual partners (all the way down to the pretty little cocktail servers) and been getting away with it...until Elin found out, beat him up, and left him for dead in the middle of their quiet neighborhood street. Tough love.

You really have some explaining to do if you feel the desire to cheat on this hideous monster.

To better his "case", Tiger appeared on public television to express his thoughts and feelings regarding the incident via a prepared statement (included below).


Covered by everything from mid-day ESPN coverage to an interuption in CNBC's Squawk on the Street, Tiger effectively took the spotlight as he publicly acknowledged and apologized for his crude behavior.

The thing that grinds many gears like my own is the fact that nowadays, thanks to ESPN's revolutionary round-the-clock coverage of the sports world, is that no longer will the lives of athletes and their performances be separated. From Mike Tyson (a colleague favorite) to Barry Bonds, the lives of our idolized pin-ups will never be free from illustrative exploitation.


My favorite example of a proper lesson taught to the media was when San Francisco pitcher, Tim Lincecum, was pulled over in the Bay Area and, after a thorough search, arrested for possession of marijuana and paraphernalia. Best part: this baseball-whipping, chronic smoking, lock-flowing, San Franciscan boy didn't give a rats tail. He publicly confessed, paid his fines, and continued on with his career/extracurricular hobbies.

I can only hope that these type of stand-up citizens can help set the stage for some of the other, less ballsy, athletes; the ones who have to hide behind closed doors or dark garments only give the media something to thrive off. What would you prefer: a publicly demanded apology followed by years of shame, or a relatively small fine and a implicit FU to our favorite, The American Press?

Keep on Skankin',
The Sausage King of Chicago

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Olympians Would Be Proud

Accompanying the summit of the winter season, along with Valentine's and Presidents Day, is the 16-day marathon of the world's finest athletes competing for the gold. This lap around, hosted in Vancouver, British Columbia, is the winter sports including, but not limited to, hockey, skiing, snowboarding, and my favorite, curling...


The Olympics has its roots buried deep within the ancient Greek civilization. During a time (8th century B.C.E.) when gods literally ran, and ruined, the lives of civilians, the Greek people took great pride in honoring the gods atop Mt. Olympus via games, parades, and sacrifices. Teams were formed from Greek polei, or city-states, and all gathered in Athens to compete. The games the Greeks played, all in honor of various gods, ranged from barefoot races, naked wrestling, and discus tossing. Wouldnt't want to piss this guy off?
He'll put a lightening bolt right between your cheeks.

Anyway, with all kinds of expectations for American athletes such as Apolo Ohno, Shaun White, and, my personal favorite, Lindsey Vonn, the attention drifts away from non-contributing countries and focuses solely on the elite of the Northern hemisphere.

However, I would like to revert some attention back to our globe's not-so-fortunate players, such as Africa's sole contributor to Vancouvers Winter Olympics XXI.
Without further ado, let me introduce introduce Ghana's primary, and only, skiier, Kwame Nkruman-Acheampong. Dubbed the "Snow Leopard", this Ghanese downhill skier offers a tale unlike many other developed-country's prospects. Hailing from North-West Africa, this passionate skier competes solo in every sense of the word.

Acting as his own doctor, coach, trainer, and driver, Kwame will enter this years Olympic competitions sleeping in his own van. Previously, he's even had to return home to Ghana mid-competition because he ran out of money.

Next time you turn on NBC to cheer on America's finest, just remember all the unfortunate athletes who do not have the opportunity to compete the way we did...as children.

Pardon my absence,
Abe Froman

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Fatass Tuesday


Not much pisses me off more than fat people, but the fact that they get their own day really puts the high calorie icing on the already high calorie cake.
So we find ourselves at the culmination of Mardi Gras, which is actually French for Fat Tuesday. But my question remains: why is this carnival celebration, which thousands of people all across the world enjoy, dedicated to fat people? Here is where I begin my research, primarily focused o the United States' celebratory version:
Mardi Gras arrived in North America as a French Catholic tradition with the Le Moyne brothers, Pierre Le Moyne and Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne , in the late 17th century, when King Louis XIV sent the pair to defend France's claim on the territory of Louisiane, which included what are now the U.S. states of Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana.
America, which is 66% overweight or obese, calculates body fat using the BMI scale. The top(fattest) states just happen to be...
1. Mississippi: 30.3%
2. West Virginia: 30.1%
3. Louisiana: 30%
4. South Carolina: 28.5%
5. Alabama: 28.1%
Ok, so King Louis XIV sent his minions to the fatass states to defend the French territory. Now we're getting somewhere...
In 1723, the capital of Louisiana was moved to New Orleans, founded in 1718. New Orleans gained the nickname, "The Big Easy," which, ironically enough, is the name of a locally craved sandwich, which also goes by the name "The Muffaletta."
This manmade god-like creation has, according to FoodTV's Bobby Flay, 952 calories and 54 grams of fat, per serving, which is roughly 83% of your suggested daily intake (based on a 2,000 calorie diet).

So here we are at a final conclusion. As Americans, we like to turn a cold shoulder toward the dark realizations of internal issues. Obesity is one that is shortening our life span, positioning us as the butt of jokes, damaging the self esteem of our children, and jacking up our health care costs to compensate for those who are "just too tired" to go for a goddarn walk or 2.

Not only do we not realize, we celebrate. So, fellow Americans, enjoy your fatass Tuesday. Go celebrate the demise of our once beloved nation and head to a local sandwich shop to have their version of "heart attack on sicilian bread."
But me, Ill be waiting in the wings for my favorite holiday; Mentally Retarded Friday. Shalom!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Hangover, Literally

Thirsty Thurs
We've all been there, some too often. They come in different shapes and sizes. Some are headaches, some are upset stomachs, some involve vomiting, some sneak up on you, and some are so bad they keep you from moving for hours upon hours. Regardless of your type, you have had a hangover at least once in your life-that is, unless your babydick herits.
By now we have all developed our own remedy to this literal hell. Gatorade,B-12 Vitamins, water, greasy food, exercise, sleep, you name it, we've tried it. My goal today is to offer expertise on the subject from some respected physicians.
Getting drunk is, for better or worse, the poisoning of your body. Alcohol enters your bloodstream at a rapid rate, smothering the frontal lobe of your brain, which releases its control of your judgment and social inhibitions. All symptoms of hangovers stem from your body's attempts to process alcohol and rid your system of it.
1.Rehydrating your body is the key to recovering from the hangover, and this cannot be stressed enough. You can even put some lemon in your water, it'll help soothe your stomach and will add vitamin C!!
2. No coffee bitches;Caffeine will only dehydrate you more, and since it's also a diuretic, it will not help your stomach. Milk and other dairy products are also not a good idea; they may make you feel more queasy.
3. My personal go-to..If you don't want to drink water, try a glass of flat ginger ale, which helps soothe your stomach!
4. Use a cold rag-An effective way to alleviate the pain is to lie in a dark room, with a cool compress on your head.
5. Some other options I found- Vitamin C, Fruit, Honey, Toast, and Sleep.



If none of these are an option, I would suggest watching a bad movie. It has helped me in the past. Some recommendations; Rescue Dawn, Annie, Miracle and St. Anna, Megan's Body, etc. Feel free to comment with any remedies of your own, and or bad movie recommendations. For now, Ill keep it to the shrubbery.
Keep it TIght

Monday, February 1, 2010

3D: Inevitable Disguised Pain?

Marnin'!
Today marks Avatar's 7th week atop the box office. This got me thinking-are all movie producers going to follow this inevitable trend that leads to millions upon millions of dollars? Yes, I saw Avatar, and although I liked it, I am not a full believer that 3D is worth the trouble. With an amazing list of movies that will be released in 2010, it seems that all people can look forward to is Alice in Wonderland, 3D nonetheless.
Sure, Tim Burton is a genius to some, Johnny Depp is one of the greatest actors of our generation, and the story is timeless. However, I do not believe that 3D is worth the hype; follow along...
1. The "Stiffy"- when I saw Avatar, I unfortunately got there a whole 3 minutes late. I was then excommunicated by the engulfed crowd for making a peep, and then forced to sit in the very front row, all the way on the right side-the 2 last remaining seats. I was so excited to keep up with the jones' that I didn't even mind. That is, until about 10 minutes into the movie. My neck was completely sore from having to look up and far left. Also, 3D films are designed to be most effective when viewed from a front and center position. There were many times throughout the film when I couldn't make out what Jake Sully was doing because of how sketchy the lines were. Next time Ill be sure to camp out to get that prime location.
2. People puke. I do not have a weak stomach, so I was fairly OK. However, I heard from various people that they either had to leave the film, stop watching at parts, or felt sick afterwards. 3D is a commitment, and sometimes people over commit themselves. There are no warnings beforehand, so bring your Scopolamine!
3. Prices. Yes, I am sure James Cameron and his producers spent a buttload of money on Avatar, but are the 3D glasses really worth an additional $3.50 on the ticket prices? Some theaters do not even have the option to view Avatar in a 2D setting. I paid $14 for my ticket in Chicago, but...got to keep my 3D glasses! Hope they have more 3d 20 second Super Bowl ads this year! Inflated prices=Loews making bank=no after movie beers for me.
4. Inflated Numbers!!!! This just dawned on me. Avatar is becoming the number 1 movie of all time for gross income. At $14, of course it has the edge on Edge of Darkness(in 2D) which goes for $10. Why have a movie that only makes $400 million at the box office when you can add 3D and bump that to $600 million?


Avatar was a great movie, I dont take anything away from the production, cast, or story. However, if this is going to be a regular trend, I hope the price drops. No one is going to pay $14 to see Precious in 3D, I'll tell you that much.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

And how do YOU like YOUR steak prepared?

This posting comes by request from a dear friend.


I, like some, was very secluded to the extremely large and growing world of dating services. We have all seen commercials for eharmony.com or chemistry.com but have you ever met a couple who succeed with such services? Just recently, I had the opportunity to participate in the The Worlds largest speed dating event.

Hosted by Purple Lab, this dating event was stumbled upon by a roommate of mine and sparked an interest with almost all of us. Mainly because of the lack of information we had on its nature; the only knowledge I had on the topic was gathered from scenes of 40 Year Old Virgin and stories told to me by a dear friend, Gomez. My curiosity led me to the water front W Hotel in Hoboken, New Jersey, an ideal place to meet your true love.

Clearly, none of us 21-22 year old college students were looking for those true loves, but then again, no one plans to meet a true love. Right? However, the snowballing curiosity finally got us all in.

Here's a quick play-by-play from my experience.
  1. Minor preliminary drinking at our apartment - something to "take the edge off".
  2. One mode of transportation to another until we reached our final destination...1 hour late.
  3. After missing the introduction/welcome speech, we quickly found our seats. (There are no names/name tags, only numbers. I was B133. Females were F###.)
  4. The room was quite large with a DJ type host stand to keep the mood set with some background music. I found and met my first date.
  5. Sat down across from G133 (Patty), a 31 year old, believe it or not, hottie. I was quite surprised to see myself sitting in such a position.
  6. Her drink was empty, mine was non-existent. She purchased us a round. God bless traveling business women and Johnny Walker Black. W Hotels are not cheap.
  7. We chatted for three minutes after the initial commencement and then got up, and moved one seat to the right.
  8. Patty turned to Chelsea, Chelsea to Katheryn, Katheryn to Sarah.... You get the idea.
  9. After all 20 dates are over and your little pad is full of fun people's names/numbers, everyone spills out into the hotel lobby bar for the "follow-ups". The real ballers went to the Champaigne Room for bottle service. Damn yuppies.

Lesson Learned: There are two types of people you will encounter when speed dating. Singles eagerly looking to get laid/find love. And then there are those people's friends, brought along to make themselves feel less sorry and less awkward. I like to categorize myself as the latter.

If any of you readers get the opportunity to give this adventure a shot, I HIGHLY recommend doing so. If you can top a middle-management employee of a skyscraper window repair and cleaning company, go for it. 'Cause that was my profession.

With Love,
Abe Froman
(Yup, thats me)

Friday, January 29, 2010

Goodbye for Good, JD

January 27th marked the day of eternal passing for a man whom some would argue was the greatest author ever.
JD Salinger may have just been the most influential author in our time. The Catcher in the Rye has been a staple in the American education curriculum for years, and rightfully so.
Natural causes brought him to the end of his life in his home in Cornish, New Hampshire, where he had been living in Seclusion for over 50 years.
Thanks to Mr. Tyrell and the Brothers of St. Joseph, I had the opportunity, as all should, to read "Catcher." Aside from its' immediate best seller status, the book granted young men and women the right to question their own mental stability. Holden Caufield made us realize that life is hard, at times almost too hard, but the only passage to internal freedom is through your own feelings.
Over 250,000 paperback copies of the life changing book are sold each year.
Salinger, aside from his literary genius, was notorious for being a recluse. A 6 and a half foot fence was built around his home to keep him free from potential reporters or interested fans. He would be seen by neighbors walking to a guest house, built directly behind the main house, every morning. It was there where he continued to write, from 1953 until his death at 91 years old, every single day. While the vast majority of his writings have never been released, and I am sure under a clause in his will-never will be, he still devoted his entire life to writing.
He was known to only leave his home on vacations to Florida, where he would meet with the former New Yorker editor-in-chief, William Shawn.
An unfortunate memoir was released in 1998 by a former lover of his, Joyce Maynard. The memoir spoke of Salinger as "sexually manipulative" and "clinically insane." This only added to his distrust of the outside world, along with his true hatred of news reporting.
His early years consisted of Salinger, known to his pals as "Sonny," living a life similar to one of Holden himself. Salinger attended the swaggy McBurney School in the Upper West Side of NYC. Captain of the fencing team and the literary editor of the school yearbook, created a divine similarity to Holden.
I came across this piece, a poem that Salinger submitted to his senior year yearbook...

Hide not thy tears on this last day

Your sorrow has no shame;

To march no more midst lines of gray;

No longer play the game.

Four years have passed in joyful ways — Wouldst stay those old times dear?

Then cherish now these fleeting days,

The few while you are here.

This unfortunate passing leaves the world without one of the most influential authors of all time. The story of his life is a great example of how media popularity can literally kill a man. "Nine Stories" "Franny and Zooey" "Raise High the Roofbeam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction" Three additional pieces of his that I have yet to read, but am strongly encouraged.
RIP JD, youre message and words will live in infamy.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Are there any asians or bones in the back?

Movies I have watched today:

A#1: finished watching Slap Shot
B#2: Zach Galifranakas stand up- plays alot of piano- very funny
C#3: Tosh from Tosh.O- funny also
D#4: So I Married an Axe Murderer- Mike Myers trys out fat bastard many years before Austin Powers
E#5: na na naananana Batman Returns-Danny Deveto is so cute and cuddly

.....but i digest.....joke i know the word is digress

I do not find the four years at school i have had were like a blink, but infact feel i have lived in the time and have the memories but time for a new chapter.....thats it for now.

Heil Christoper Walken,
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater


Click it....you wont........

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

BOA=bank of america, basterds operating atrocity

Today began wonderfully. My flu-like symptoms were minimal, free breakfast, and a light work load. I receive a text, A TEXT, from Bank of America telling me that they were skeptical of recent charges. I race online to see what these "unusual charges" were. 45$ from a McDonalds in California, 201$ from Target.com, 56$ from a Super Savor (I am assuming it is a grocery store) in California, and another 200$ from Amazon.com.
A.) Who can eat 45$ worth of McDonalds?
B.) I live in Chicago, 2,018 miles away from Burbank, CA
C.) IT TAKES 515$ IN CHARGES FOR THEM TO REALIZE???

I am not too mad, I was assured that I would be reimbursed for these charges once they "post" which may take 2-3 days. I get a temporary ATM card in the meantime. I did nothing wrong; no purchases from odd websites, no losing my card, no flashing of the numbers. So, if your day sucks as much as mine, or might in the near future, take a look at a few of these pictures I found that helped make my situation OK. And, for future reference, keep up on your online banking. It seems as if any fraudulent charges under 500$ might go unnoticed. And pay attention to your texts, some may be more informative than others!



Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sick as a ?

Its a freezing cold Tuesday in Chicago. I have an enormous work week ahead of me, and fortunately enough, I am sick!
Fever, congestion, headache, fatigue-name it, I have it. Sure, I am optimistic; "It's a 1 day flu," but I have to be careful. The weatherman claims this week will be snow filled with highs in the mid teens. Lucky enough for me, I have the internet. And why you ask, well, to follow any/every suggestion for beating the "common cold." This got me thinking, what do professionals suggest is a good remedy? I usually resort to Vitamin C, sleep, and some Dayquil-but this one's different- I am gonna follow a new routine:

1.Research suggests that taking zinc from the first onset of symptoms can shorten the duration of a cold or sore throat.
2.Garlic has excellent anti-viral properties and is another immune-system booster. The bad news is that it is most effective in its raw state.
3.A few brazil nuts will help boost your body's levels of selenium.
4.Chicken soup: known as "Jewish Pencillin". Highly digestible and nourishing, it will make us feel better even if we can't explain why.

Considering I'm zincless, not a Jew, refusing to eat raw garlic, and without brazil nuts, it seems as if I will down some OTC cough syrup and give it a good ol' trip-n-snooze. Hopefully this time tomorrow I will have beat it, otherwise, time to call in the reinforcements!

-Galo

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Got Money for Wars But Can't Feed Our Poor

In recent news, the island shared by Haiti and the Dominican Republic was struck with a devastating earthquake living the Haiti in a state of chaos. Looting and rioting are only a few of the byproducts created by this natural disaster. The United States, acting as a global Mother Teresa, has once again lent a hand to those in need. At times of absolute desire, any help is needed. Our prayers are with the victims and their families.

As always, the United States has acted in it's natural paternal role and sent much relief to the Haitian families affected by the earthquake. Whether out of need for to bolster the public perception or to actually allocate Federal funds to projects believed to promote "democracy", the United States has begun our stream of support. Is this actually the most humane solution? Do we really need to see devastating natural disasters before we can really label something as fucked? Are we the ones who should even be lending a helping hand when we have disasters of our own?

Anyone observing places like South Central Los Angeles, the Bronx borough of New York City, or Chicago's South Side can vouch that they are not the most ideal living atmospheres. With visibly high crime rates, low-income housing units, and lack of proper Public Benevolence forces, these areas are the unfortunate result of mishandled urban maintenance.

That being noted, are we really so perfect that we can export aid when we can hardly change the problems that plague our own soil? Haiti is currently most burdened with riots that have arisen from a lack of proper law enforcment. The Haitian government, although fully acknowledging the fact, are not able to provide adequate resources. This is exactly where the U.S Federal, State, and Local governments stand on the high crime sections of America, except in American 'able' is the word of focus.

Our news media plays a crucial role in the grand scheme of things. In a recent NFL playoff game, select Haitian members of the New Orleans Saints publicaly broadcasted ways in which fans can provide aid to Haiti and be rewarded with NFL memorabilia. That's what American's need? are we really that manipulative? Our own streets are run with problems of our own, but Pierson Prioleau will send you an autograph if you text HAITI to 99899.

"Open your own eyes,
Look within,
Are you satisfied with the life your living?"

(A quote from Bob Marley's song Redemption Song, but also a creed that President Obabma ought to recognize)

-A. Fro