A jaahhhbbiiiieeee!!!

Bing, bang, boom. That fast. Start college, meaningless testings, blackouts, hookups, bed pisses, public indecency, fights, football games, spring concerts, bank overdrafts, graduation. Cheers to all those who told you "have fun, four years goes by so fast."
Man I bet those guys really wish we found them to say, "hey, you were right," just to be one-upped with a good ol' American "Told ya so."
Now the easy part.
Youre either
A: A dickless lizard who is too scared to enter the work world so you entertain the idea of graduate school, Euro-tripping, or living the dream from home
OR
B: employed.

As of today, the American unemployment rating is 9.9%. So much for roundin' up...
In 1976, the year my mother graduated college, the US was looking at a 7.7% rating-not too bad.

With government programs, internships, and entry level jobs, I find all of the hoop-la surrounding the difficulty to get a job now a days to be horse crap. I will be the first to say that I am ecstatic about the fact that I have secured a job starting after graduation, but I am by no means the "elite."

That being said, I feel that recent college graduates are too quick to accept the notion that "things are tough" and that "the current economy" is going to prevent you from getting a job. If anything, employers are looking for hungry graduates, fresh off their finals, and willing and able to work more proficiently for probably far lower wages.
Look at this guy:(!)


The moment you start believing that there are no jobs available is the exact time that jobs become unavailable. It is an insult to our generation to go for 4 years, funded by your parents hard labor, only to get your degree and shit the bed.
Call it a cry or a PSA, just don't blame it on the economy.
Don't fret, don't complain, and don't accept failure. Look at fatty, he's fully aware and has been seeking benefits from a high unemployment rating and he still finds a way to smile!

The Fat (Ass) Sandwich

Among New Brunswick's claims to fame are: The Scarlet Knight's 2006 victory over Louisville, Donald Sutherland, and the Greece Trucks.

These mobile obesity advocates began in the 1980's with a limited menu selection that has since then, grown immensely. Their creation's began when a drunken individual, Darrell, stumbled up to the window and demanded some of the worlds most un-healthy items to be wrapped up in dough and dubbed the concoction the "Fat Darrell". Yum!

Ingredients:

• French Fries
• Chicken Fingers
• Mozzarella Sticks
• Marinara Sauce
• Lettuce & Tomato (to balance nutrition)
• Crack Cocaine

If that line up doesnt make you vom a tablespoon of your last meal into the back of your mouth, then youve probably had one before and possibly even enjoyed it. Shit, I know I have. (Eaten one, not the vom part)

Anyway, here's where most of the attraction comes from; if you are able to eat three of these suckers in under fifteen minutes, you not only get to coin the creation you have just concocted, but you can name it as well. Perffect market for drunk college students stumbling down College Ave at 3:00 am.

Americans, being the fattest basterds on the face of the earth, put that challenge to shame. Man Vs. Food's Adam Richman even attempted the feat but was turned down.

There are now over 24 official Fat Sandwiches. However, there are many unofficial ones, my favorite being the Fat Bitch, which has become dubbed as the Fat Beach for label purposes.

In reaction to this challenge being absolutely destroyed by upcoming classes of fat asses, the challenge has now upped to five sandwiches in under an hour. FIVE SANDWICHES! This is not only abnormal, its inhumane. We have become the culture that rewards our own ability to defy human nature; eating to the point of discomfort and then being pleased with a rewarding outcome. God Bless America.

Typical events that occur in the parking lot of the Greece Trucks:

• Indian "gangsters" trying to pick fights. Generally with no avail.
• A bare chested girl - did I mention this is a college town?
• Someone you know, want to know, or wish you hadn't known.
• Policemen sitting in cars idly. Serve and protect baby.
• Rafi Richman bumming cigarettes from anything with a heartbeat.

If your ever in the New Brunswick/Rutgers area, stop by theses truly unique trucks and if you dont order one of your own, at least stop to check out the scene, which should certainly be entertaining.

Your Fellow American,

Abe Froman

The TRyfecta

The MC Fraternity, conditioned from years of excellence, may have just reached its' pinnacle.
The Trifecta: Sunday, February 21, 2010. Not one, not two, Three. Three fuckin blog posts in the same day. That's similar to, say, Jesus coming home, or free Netflix for life.


The Study of the Trifecta:


Horse racing:the formula for this is easy; land the trifecta and see big bucks. The requires you, the compulsive gambler. to predict, in correct order, the horse that will finish first, second, and third.

Politics: this situation refers to an executive of government appointing another elected official to a position and then appoints his successor. in other words, the executive can appoint an elected official to a position, appoint another elected official to the other's previous position, and finally appoint anyone to the second official's spot.

Other sport: basketball, referring to the good ol' three point shot. Refer to Michael Redd. Lacrosse, hockey, or really any scoring of three points/goals. You know what they say, sometimes a hat trick, always a trifecta.

To some, Three is the Magic Numer:


Regardless on your take on the trifectin' three, its' power, today atleast, can't be doubted.
There are three wishes, three leprecons, three amigos, three stooges, three muskateers, three little bears, three prince or princesses,three toed sloth, three witches, three weird sisters among others, fuck, even third eye blind.

To the girl scout in all of us.

-PicoDG

on the road again.....

This week my car hit 50,000 miles. I realize this is a milestone in any cars life and i celebrated by getting pulled over by a state trooper. This of course is the best way to celebrate any event.....on the way home from an aniversary party......or when your driving home with 5 strippers that you intend to do dirty dirty things to.

But enough of that.

5 reasons to NOT wipe your ass.

a#1: you can fart and blow poop bubbles
b#2: you can give anyone at any point in the day a dirty sanchez
c#3: you like to mark the underwear you wore that day
d#4: Think of all that time and the trees you will save
e#5: If you like your own brand all day will be heavenly

thats all for now,
Artemis Noisewater

ClIcK tHiS ShIT

HD Makes Moves

After 5 years of high school and another 3 of college Mr. Hd plans to travel for the first time. I plan on heading to uva to see nate recieve his diploma. I hope they announce his name as SOS and not Brent. After a week in VA, I plan to get a one-way ticket and fly to CHI-Town. Me and SOS will spend a week in CHI-Town and watch Pete receive his diploma. Then we will spend 15hrs or so driving back to Jersey in a u-haul. Fucking with SOS and singing "we are the 3 best friends that anyone could ever have". This is just a start to my summer and a start to adding more memories to the great ones, us, the Moose Club, already have.

And how do YOU like YOUR steak prepared?

This posting comes by request from a dear friend.

I, like some, was very secluded to the extremely large and growing world of dating services. We have all seen commercials for eharmony.com or chemistry.com but have you ever met a couple who succeed with such services? Just recently, I had the opportunity to participate in the The Worlds largest speed dating event.

Hosted by Purple Lab, this dating event was stumbled upon by a roommate of mine and sparked an interest with almost all of us. Mainly because of the lack of information we had on its nature; the only knowledge I had on the topic was gathered from scenes of 40 Year Old Virgin and stories told to me by a dear friend, Gomez. My curiosity led me to the water front W Hotel in Hoboken, New Jersey, an ideal place to meet your true love.

Clearly, none of us 21-22 year old college students were looking for those true loves, but then again, no one plans to meet a true love. Right? However, the snowballing curiosity finally got us all in.

Here's a quick play-by-play from my experience.

1. Minor preliminary drinking at our apartment - something to "take the edge off".
2. One mode of transportation to another until we reached our final destination...1 hour late.
3. After missing the introduction/welcome speech, we quickly found our seats. (There are no names/name tags, only numbers. I was B133. Females were F###.)
4. The room was quite large with a DJ type host stand to keep the mood set with some background music. I found and met my first date.
5. Sat down across from G133 (Patty), a 31 year old, believe it or not, hottie. I was quite surprised to see myself sitting in such a position.
6. Her drink was empty, mine was non-existent. She purchased us a round. God bless traveling business women and Johnny Walker Black. W Hotels are not cheap.
7. We chatted for three minutes after the initial commencement and then got up, and moved one seat to the right.
8. Patty turned to Chelsea, Chelsea to Katheryn, Katheryn to Sarah.... You get the idea.
9. After all 20 dates are over and your little pad is full of fun people's names/numbers, everyone spills out into the hotel lobby bar for the "follow-ups". The real ballers went to the Champaigne Room for bottle service. Damn yuppies.

Lesson Learned: There are two types of people you will encounter when speed dating. Singles eagerly looking to get laid/find love. And then there are those people's friends, brought along to make themselves feel less sorry and less awkward. I like to categorize myself as the latter.

If any of you readers get the opportunity to give this adventure a shot, I HIGHLY recommend doing so. If you can top a middle-management employee of a skyscraper window repair and cleaning company, go for it. 'Cause that was my profession.

With Love,

Abe Froman

(Yup, thats me)