Canadian Hatin'

After traveling around British Columbia last winter, I realized that Canadians aren't really that bad. Sure, they are too kind, say silly phrases such as "fair enough," and love Celine Dion, but some are actually cool people.
For Bones'sake they are the dang host of the world renown Winter Olympics! Statistics show that host countries never make money off of the Olympic games, rather just the honor and prestige that comes along with it.
Last night, Canada Women's Hockey won the gold against the U.S. in a 2-0 thriller. Normally I would pay zero attention to women's sports, but a trending topic today is the easy bashing of the Gold medalists.

So.Fucking.What. These ladies worked their fannies off to get to this point. Their home city, their sport, their gold medal=their right to celebrate.
Gilbert Felli, the IOC’s executive director of the Olympic Games, claims he wasn’t aware of the celebration until informed by an AP reporter.

“If that’s the case, that is not good. It is not what we want to see,” he said. “I don’t think it’s a good promotion of sport values. If they celebrate in the changing room, that’s one thing, but not in public.

“We will investigate what happened. We will talk to the federation and the NOC. We will first find the facts and then act accordingly,” he said.

>

Really, big Gil, you didn't see it? They sat for about 20 minutes, center ice, lighting their stogies and pounding Molson. How did you get your job as the executive director of the Olympic Games? Were you really too engulfed in the semi-round of mens curling? Gil, Gil, Gil...


As my reporting continues, I read that the Associated Press reports that, oh, the Canadian (gold medal winning) Women's Hockey team apologized..

"The members of Team Canada apologize if their on-ice celebrations, after fans had left the building, have offended anyone," the statement said. "In the excitement of the moment, the celebration left the confines of our dressing room and shouldn't have. The team regrets that its gold medal celebration may have caused the IOC or COC any embarrassment.

Well, IOC, thanks again for taking the fun out out the 2 weeks 2 long sporting event.
Controversy may be the only thing fun about these boring Winter Olympics. All I know is that if-and hopefully when-the U.S. men's hockey team beats the beast out of the Canadian men's hockey team for that luxurious gold medal, we better be well prepared for the celebration of a lifetime. Budweiser, Lady Gaga, and Marlboro reds all night you clown asses.

Skiing with slanty eyes

While yes the title may seem a bit over the top, but come on lets face it....impared vision and skiing...dont mix well. While skiing over the past weekend or so i took it upon myself to take a little look around. Not only had the sport of skiing become a fashion show, but it has become a fashion show that lets the ugly fat girls in. I mean this figuratively of course, nothing is sexier than a snow bunny and her matching outfit and a man that is way below her standards obviously not her boyfriend but a friend that figures he can use his edge....haha.....in skiing to prove that he is up to her standards because he has mastered this skill of skiing.....but i digest.....When going skiing there are certain rules that one should abide by, and if you have ever been skiing you know those that i am talking about....here are my version of the skiing rules that our yellow friends from across the pond have such a hard time with.

a#1: Be sure to remove your skis before entering the bar or hot tub...sharp edges and drunk ppl along with bare skin can be quite dangerous

b#2: Don't eat yellow snow.....i know...but they are asian they do some wacky shit

c#3: Falling is always appropriate.....IF you take someone down with you.....more points for more people

D#4: Those that are novice skiers...e.g. "pizza pieing" down a black diamond.....can be considered a hostile entity and should be treated with the upmost caution....even a ski pole to the back of the head is acceptable.

E#5: Just because she has a nice pair of goggles and blonde pigtails coming out of her hat means nothing in terms of how hot she could be....common trick by the skinny ugly women.....see revious mention about fat and ugly.

F#6: Making sure to be as loud as possible and seem like your having the most fun really shows you the people who are misserable on the mountain....for instance the family with 3 little children all of which they put at the top of a diamond and you have taken the chair lift 4 times and seen the two parents and their 3 children in the same spot on a trail all the while heckeling saying "should have listened to the kids that said they would be happy with chuckie cheese"

G#6: While this may be something that goes for almost any situation....groin injuries are even funnier when skiing.......click here for some proof.


So when you go skiing this season, or what is left of it, just remember these simple rules and you will have a gaggle of fun.

that is all,
toodles

The Olympians Would Be Proud

Accompanying the summit of the winter season, along with Valentine's and Presidents Day, is the 16-day marathon of the world's finest athletes competing for the gold. This lap around, hosted in Vancouver, British Columbia, is the winter sports including, but not limited to, hockey, skiing, snowboarding, and my favorite, curling...


The Olympics has its roots buried deep within the ancient Greek civilization. During a time (8th century B.C.E.) when gods literally ran, and ruined, the lives of civilians, the Greek people took great pride in honoring the gods atop Mt. Olympus via games, parades, and sacrifices. Teams were formed from Greek polei, or city-states, and all gathered in Athens to compete. The games the Greeks played, all in honor of various gods, ranged from barefoot races, naked wrestling, and discus tossing. Wouldnt't want to piss this guy off?

He'll put a lightening bolt right between your cheeks.

Anyway, with all kinds of expectations for American athletes such as Apolo Ohno, Shaun White, and, my personal favorite, Lindsey Vonn, the attention drifts away from non-contributing countries and focuses solely on the elite of the Northern hemisphere.

However, I would like to revert some attention back to our globe's not-so-fortunate players, such as Africa's sole contributor to Vancouvers Winter Olympics XXI.

Without further ado, let me introduce introduce Ghana's primary, and only, skiier, Kwame Nkruman-Acheampong. Dubbed the "Snow Leopard", this Ghanese downhill skier offers a tale unlike many other developed-country's prospects. Hailing from North-West Africa, this passionate skier competes solo in every sense of the word.

Acting as his own doctor, coach, trainer, and driver, Kwame will enter this years Olympic competitions sleeping in his own van. Previously, he's even had to return home to Ghana mid-competition because he ran out of money.

Next time you turn on NBC to cheer on America's finest, just remember all the unfortunate athletes who do not have the opportunity to compete the way we did...as children.

Pardon my absence,

Abe Froman