Skiing with slanty eyes

While yes the title may seem a bit over the top, but come on lets face it....impared vision and skiing...dont mix well. While skiing over the past weekend or so i took it upon myself to take a little look around. Not only had the sport of skiing become a fashion show, but it has become a fashion show that lets the ugly fat girls in. I mean this figuratively of course, nothing is sexier than a snow bunny and her matching outfit and a man that is way below her standards obviously not her boyfriend but a friend that figures he can use his edge....haha.....in skiing to prove that he is up to her standards because he has mastered this skill of skiing.....but i digest.....When going skiing there are certain rules that one should abide by, and if you have ever been skiing you know those that i am talking about....here are my version of the skiing rules that our yellow friends from across the pond have such a hard time with.

a#1: Be sure to remove your skis before entering the bar or hot tub...sharp edges and drunk ppl along with bare skin can be quite dangerous

b#2: Don't eat yellow snow.....i know...but they are asian they do some wacky shit

c#3: Falling is always appropriate.....IF you take someone down with you.....more points for more people

D#4: Those that are novice skiers...e.g. "pizza pieing" down a black diamond.....can be considered a hostile entity and should be treated with the upmost caution....even a ski pole to the back of the head is acceptable.

E#5: Just because she has a nice pair of goggles and blonde pigtails coming out of her hat means nothing in terms of how hot she could be....common trick by the skinny ugly women.....see revious mention about fat and ugly.

F#6: Making sure to be as loud as possible and seem like your having the most fun really shows you the people who are misserable on the mountain....for instance the family with 3 little children all of which they put at the top of a diamond and you have taken the chair lift 4 times and seen the two parents and their 3 children in the same spot on a trail all the while heckeling saying "should have listened to the kids that said they would be happy with chuckie cheese"

G#6: While this may be something that goes for almost any situation....groin injuries are even funnier when skiing.......click here for some proof.


So when you go skiing this season, or what is left of it, just remember these simple rules and you will have a gaggle of fun.

that is all,
toodles