A hui hou, Hawaii!!

It always saddens me to have to report unfortunate news. The new "in" natural disaster-the Earthquake-made its' presence known again today. Haiti got its 15 minutes of fame and passed the torch onto the South American Gem of Chili.
The list of A-list celebrities who have become interested in earthquakes has grown exponentially, from Bono to Oprah to Benji Madden, you're only cool if you donate to an earthquake fund. Look out for these A-listers to hop onto Chili, leaving poor ol' Haiti with barely D-listers, such as Sinbad, Ryan Goessling and Tom Green
I am gonna call it right before it happens. The new HOTT relief fund to endorse is going to be the Hawaii Tsunami Fund.
The Chili earthquake has prompted top officials to call an tsunami warning for Hawaii. The earthquake struck at 3:34 a.m. in central Chile.
Evacuation alarms sounded at 6 a.m. Saturday in coastal areas in Hawaii, as the region prepares for what federal officials say could be a dangerous, potentially deadly, tsunami to hit the islands in the aftermath of the earthquake. Waves are expected to reach 6-10 feet.
HO-LY PINEAPPLES! We're gonna have to move fast. Hopefully Hawaiian native Barack Obama has a fool proof plan to save all of the pineapples. There are boatloads of recipes that call for generous amounts of pineapples-recipes that we can just forget ever existed!
I would like to close by bringing attention to all MC Fraternity followers the possibility of a lucrative business plan. We, together, can manufacture, distribute, market, and sell t shirts that read:

Comments Greatly Appreciated

Canadian Hatin'

After traveling around British Columbia last winter, I realized that Canadians aren't really that bad. Sure, they are too kind, say silly phrases such as "fair enough," and love Celine Dion, but some are actually cool people.
For Bones'sake they are the dang host of the world renown Winter Olympics! Statistics show that host countries never make money off of the Olympic games, rather just the honor and prestige that comes along with it.
Last night, Canada Women's Hockey won the gold against the U.S. in a 2-0 thriller. Normally I would pay zero attention to women's sports, but a trending topic today is the easy bashing of the Gold medalists.

So.Fucking.What. These ladies worked their fannies off to get to this point. Their home city, their sport, their gold medal=their right to celebrate.
Gilbert Felli, the IOC’s executive director of the Olympic Games, claims he wasn’t aware of the celebration until informed by an AP reporter.

“If that’s the case, that is not good. It is not what we want to see,” he said. “I don’t think it’s a good promotion of sport values. If they celebrate in the changing room, that’s one thing, but not in public.

“We will investigate what happened. We will talk to the federation and the NOC. We will first find the facts and then act accordingly,” he said.

>

Really, big Gil, you didn't see it? They sat for about 20 minutes, center ice, lighting their stogies and pounding Molson. How did you get your job as the executive director of the Olympic Games? Were you really too engulfed in the semi-round of mens curling? Gil, Gil, Gil...


As my reporting continues, I read that the Associated Press reports that, oh, the Canadian (gold medal winning) Women's Hockey team apologized..

"The members of Team Canada apologize if their on-ice celebrations, after fans had left the building, have offended anyone," the statement said. "In the excitement of the moment, the celebration left the confines of our dressing room and shouldn't have. The team regrets that its gold medal celebration may have caused the IOC or COC any embarrassment.

Well, IOC, thanks again for taking the fun out out the 2 weeks 2 long sporting event.
Controversy may be the only thing fun about these boring Winter Olympics. All I know is that if-and hopefully when-the U.S. men's hockey team beats the beast out of the Canadian men's hockey team for that luxurious gold medal, we better be well prepared for the celebration of a lifetime. Budweiser, Lady Gaga, and Marlboro reds all night you clown asses.

The Power(ful) Nap

"Increases Productivity, Stress Relief, and Health"

The nap rocks. Whether it comes at noon on a hungover day, 3pm after a long day of work, or at 5pm before a powerful night of drinking, it always seems to serve a purpose. I feel as if I am a professional at napping, but there are definitely some naps that are better than others. Everyone I talk to seems to know the recipe for the perfect nap..."20 minutes," "30 minutes," "45 minutes."

I am set out today to find that exact formula.
Most scientists argue that Sleep has 4 stages.
Stage 1-light sleep where you drift in and out of sleep and can be awakened easily. The eyes move slowly and muscle activity slows.
Stage 2-eye movement stops and brain waves become slower with only an occasional burst of rapid brain waves.
Stage 3-extremely slow brain waves called delta waves are interspersed with smaller, faster waves(REM begins)
Stage 4- the brain produces delta waves almost exclusively. WIth the amount of boozing we've done, we probably have not experienced stage 4 sleep in about 6 years. (Exclusively REM)


-Studies show that 20 minutes of sleep in the afternoon provides more rest than 20 minutes more sleep in the morning. The body seems to be designed for this, as most people’s bodies naturally become more tired in the afternoon, about 8 hours after we wake up.
-Many experts advise to keep the nap between 15 and 30 minutes, as sleeping longer gets you into deeper stages of sleep, from which it’s more difficult to awaken. Also, longer naps can make it more difficult to fall asleep at night. However, Some* research has shown that a 1-hour nap has many more restorative effects than a 30-minute nap, including a much greater improvement in cognitive functioning. From personal experience, the longer naps leave me a bit groggy. However, if after a long nap I get out of bed quickly and begin to function normally (as opposed to laying in bed like a bumdum) I tend to be OK.
-A short afternoon catnap of 20 minutes yields mostly Stage 2 sleep, which enhances alertness and concentration, elevates mood, and sharpens motor skills. Naps of up to 45 minutes may also include rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, which enhances creative thinking and boosts sensory processing.

The overall message** we can take away from this is that naps are good! Regardless how long they are for, they allow your body some type of positive improvement. If a nap exceeds 6 hours, it is considered a night's sleep. . Whether considered a catnap, powernap, or my personal favorite-midsummer afternoon's dream-I will forever live and die(and sleep) by the nap.

Too much napping and........

**some information provided by umdnj.edu

Sick as a ?

Its a freezing cold Tuesday in Chicago. I have an enormous work week ahead of me, and fortunately enough, I am sick!
Fever, congestion, headache, fatigue-name it, I have it. Sure, I am optimistic; "It's a 1 day flu," but I have to be careful. The weatherman claims this week will be snow filled with highs in the mid teens. Lucky enough for me, I have the internet. And why you ask, well, to follow any/every suggestion for beating the "common cold." This got me thinking, what do professionals suggest is a good remedy? I usually resort to Vitamin C, sleep, and some Dayquil-but this one's different- I am gonna follow a new routine:

1.Research suggests that taking zinc from the first onset of symptoms can shorten the duration of a cold or sore throat.
2.Garlic has excellent anti-viral properties and is another immune-system booster. The bad news is that it is most effective in its raw state.
3.A few brazil nuts will help boost your body's levels of selenium.
4.Chicken soup: known as "Jewish Pencillin". Highly digestible and nourishing, it will make us feel better even if we can't explain why.

Considering I'm zincless, not a Jew, refusing to eat raw garlic, and without brazil nuts, it seems as if I will down some OTC cough syrup and give it a good ol' trip-n-snooze. Hopefully this time tomorrow I will have beat it, otherwise, time to call in the reinforcements!

-Galo