Marketing gone Mad

Thanks to our genius friends on Madison Avenue, we have now possibly the worst marketing idea to hit the streets since Digimon key chains.

In the Spring of 2010, MillerCoors introduced a new concept that they believed would revolutionize the "pour", the "chug" and the "dump beer on your passed our frat buddy". Its called the Vortex Bottle and it has - no way! - specially designed grooves. Supposed to create a more even flow of "that great pilsner taste" as it comes through the corkscrew bottle neck.

A bit like a ribbed Trojan condom, the interior of the bottle has grooves that resemble the barrel of a gun. Yes, thats right. The Miller Vortex bottle took drinking to THAT level.

The idea behind the stupidity is that the beer will actually get caught in what is known as the coriolis effect as gravity forces it to take a downward-centripetal force. This effect can be seen as a toilet bowl flushes or in an elementary classrooms with our favorite two-liter toy. Those things were flippin sweet!



Did MillerCoors actually expect us to chug for more than 3 seconds while spinning our bottle/heads in a circular motion to get maximum velocity? This is beer were talking here! Are we forgetting that the average college student hold onto a bottle of beer for, maybe, ten minutes? C'mon man, lets focus our attention on better things. Really.

I actually had the privilege of trying one of these out. As I purchased the 18-pack of bottle necks, I unintentionally grabbed the one that came equipped with such baggage. No wonder they were so cheap. Myself, as well as three other accomplices were mezmerized as we peered into the innovative neck appearance, all wondering how it would affect our consumption. Not one bit.

I've heard of some dumb ideas - I highly recommend you check them out for an absolute laugh -but I believe this one takes the cake. Clearly, some things are for some people and not others. But this has absolutely no affect on it whatsoever.

If you see a case at the liquor store, pick one up and try it. At least they're cheaper than normal bottlenecks.

Keep chugging my friends,

Abe Froman

Always double-down on an 11

Some advertisements claim that America runs on Dunkin'......I think we all know that America runs on fast food. McDonalds vs. Burger King, Hardees vs. Rallys, Jack in the Box vs. Sonic...you name it. While the battle for fattening supremacy continues, it is safe to say that the well being of American society is always the loser. See the below pic..

The battle royale over royale with cheese may finally have come to an end. Introducing the 1380 milligrams of sodium packed DOUBLE DOWN from KFC. This monstrosity contains 540 calories and 32 grams of fat.
Take two fat pieces of fried chicken and stuff inside of it bacon, monteray and pepper jack cheeses, and their signature "special fat sauce."

The average person burns about 100 calories with every mile they run. 1 Double Down=5.4 miles, just short of a 10k.
The recommended level of sodium per day is 1500 milligrams, for a fatass that is.
While doing some research on the company website, I found the slogan for the manwich... “Don’t just feed your hunger … crush it!”
The only justification of this phenomenon is that KFC could not, and would not, be outdone by any fat factory in the world. How can you defend identity as the "finger lickin' good" chicken palace while offering sandwiches with bread? Bread??? That just would not be realistic. If you want to be a man now-a-days you gots' to be a fatass. Quite frankly, the more I think about it, just being fat is like just being kind of cool. Times are changing, and super-fat is the new age fat.

Well, folks, thats all for now. Just make sure that next time you Double Down you make sure not to bite into your finger. Just because its' finger lickin good doesnt mean its good to lick (or eat) your fingers. Just sayin'

A hui hou, Hawaii!!

It always saddens me to have to report unfortunate news. The new "in" natural disaster-the Earthquake-made its' presence known again today. Haiti got its 15 minutes of fame and passed the torch onto the South American Gem of Chili.
The list of A-list celebrities who have become interested in earthquakes has grown exponentially, from Bono to Oprah to Benji Madden, you're only cool if you donate to an earthquake fund. Look out for these A-listers to hop onto Chili, leaving poor ol' Haiti with barely D-listers, such as Sinbad, Ryan Goessling and Tom Green
I am gonna call it right before it happens. The new HOTT relief fund to endorse is going to be the Hawaii Tsunami Fund.
The Chili earthquake has prompted top officials to call an tsunami warning for Hawaii. The earthquake struck at 3:34 a.m. in central Chile.
Evacuation alarms sounded at 6 a.m. Saturday in coastal areas in Hawaii, as the region prepares for what federal officials say could be a dangerous, potentially deadly, tsunami to hit the islands in the aftermath of the earthquake. Waves are expected to reach 6-10 feet.
HO-LY PINEAPPLES! We're gonna have to move fast. Hopefully Hawaiian native Barack Obama has a fool proof plan to save all of the pineapples. There are boatloads of recipes that call for generous amounts of pineapples-recipes that we can just forget ever existed!
I would like to close by bringing attention to all MC Fraternity followers the possibility of a lucrative business plan. We, together, can manufacture, distribute, market, and sell t shirts that read:

Comments Greatly Appreciated

Toad-ally cool!!!

The MC Fraternity Blog prides itself on the ability to cover an eclectic array of topics. We've seen everything from sports to mustaches to sleep advice. I got the idea for today's post from a conversation I overheard on the Brown Line CTA on my way to class this morning...
Girl 1: "He's just been sleeping a lot. I mean, he really doesn't do much else. Monte has been overall, pretty boring"
I assumed that the pair was talking about another human, but I was shocked when I heard the revealing news..
Man 1: "Well, Anne, you asked for a frog. Had you asked for a dog or cat, your life may be more entertaining. Frogs really just jump around and make silly noises and give you warts."
If I didn't hear the word frog, I may have been inclined to believe they were talking about a colleague, JMB.

So, BOOM, there it is. My topic for Tubular Tuesday. The desire to prove that frogs, although not coined as "man's best friend," can make a fun companion. The often overlooked amphibian has shaped our lives in more ways than one, even if we don't like to admit it. Without further ado, allow me to reintroduce the Frog.

Six Famous Frogs, in no particular order, that have touched us all, metaphorically speaking.
1. kermit the frog-longtime muppet show and sesame street character. all around great guy
2. the frog prince- loser fairy tail frog who turns into a mel gibson look-a-like when he gets kissed
3. slippy toad- character from Nintendo 64's Star Fox. he embodied a boss-like figure
4. frogger- dude plays himself, but he tends not to look both ways.
5. Michael J. Frog- soprano singer from looney tunes. bangerang's favorite.
6.Leap frog- that learning tool for idiots and foreigners

Shit, man, you can even cook with a frog.



Regardless of how perceive this post-offensive, funny, or sad-just realize that frogs are people too. They try their hardest, they used to watch TRL, and they, too, occasionally find themselves looking at too many Johnsons on Chatroulette.com

In the words of House of Pain, "Jump Around"

The Power(ful) Nap

"Increases Productivity, Stress Relief, and Health"

The nap rocks. Whether it comes at noon on a hungover day, 3pm after a long day of work, or at 5pm before a powerful night of drinking, it always seems to serve a purpose. I feel as if I am a professional at napping, but there are definitely some naps that are better than others. Everyone I talk to seems to know the recipe for the perfect nap..."20 minutes," "30 minutes," "45 minutes."

I am set out today to find that exact formula.
Most scientists argue that Sleep has 4 stages.
Stage 1-light sleep where you drift in and out of sleep and can be awakened easily. The eyes move slowly and muscle activity slows.
Stage 2-eye movement stops and brain waves become slower with only an occasional burst of rapid brain waves.
Stage 3-extremely slow brain waves called delta waves are interspersed with smaller, faster waves(REM begins)
Stage 4- the brain produces delta waves almost exclusively. WIth the amount of boozing we've done, we probably have not experienced stage 4 sleep in about 6 years. (Exclusively REM)


-Studies show that 20 minutes of sleep in the afternoon provides more rest than 20 minutes more sleep in the morning. The body seems to be designed for this, as most people’s bodies naturally become more tired in the afternoon, about 8 hours after we wake up.
-Many experts advise to keep the nap between 15 and 30 minutes, as sleeping longer gets you into deeper stages of sleep, from which it’s more difficult to awaken. Also, longer naps can make it more difficult to fall asleep at night. However, Some* research has shown that a 1-hour nap has many more restorative effects than a 30-minute nap, including a much greater improvement in cognitive functioning. From personal experience, the longer naps leave me a bit groggy. However, if after a long nap I get out of bed quickly and begin to function normally (as opposed to laying in bed like a bumdum) I tend to be OK.
-A short afternoon catnap of 20 minutes yields mostly Stage 2 sleep, which enhances alertness and concentration, elevates mood, and sharpens motor skills. Naps of up to 45 minutes may also include rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, which enhances creative thinking and boosts sensory processing.

The overall message** we can take away from this is that naps are good! Regardless how long they are for, they allow your body some type of positive improvement. If a nap exceeds 6 hours, it is considered a night's sleep. . Whether considered a catnap, powernap, or my personal favorite-midsummer afternoon's dream-I will forever live and die(and sleep) by the nap.

Too much napping and........

**some information provided by umdnj.edu

The Hangover, Literally

Thirsty Thurs
We've all been there, some too often. They come in different shapes and sizes. Some are headaches, some are upset stomachs, some involve vomiting, some sneak up on you, and some are so bad they keep you from moving for hours upon hours. Regardless of your type, you have had a hangover at least once in your life-that is, unless your babydick herits.
By now we have all developed our own remedy to this literal hell. Gatorade,B-12 Vitamins, water, greasy food, exercise, sleep, you name it, we've tried it. My goal today is to offer expertise on the subject from some respected physicians.
Getting drunk is, for better or worse, the poisoning of your body. Alcohol enters your bloodstream at a rapid rate, smothering the frontal lobe of your brain, which releases its control of your judgment and social inhibitions. All symptoms of hangovers stem from your body's attempts to process alcohol and rid your system of it.
1.Rehydrating your body is the key to recovering from the hangover, and this cannot be stressed enough. You can even put some lemon in your water, it'll help soothe your stomach and will add vitamin C!!
2. No coffee bitches;Caffeine will only dehydrate you more, and since it's also a diuretic, it will not help your stomach. Milk and other dairy products are also not a good idea; they may make you feel more queasy.
3. My personal go-to..If you don't want to drink water, try a glass of flat ginger ale, which helps soothe your stomach!
4. Use a cold rag-An effective way to alleviate the pain is to lie in a dark room, with a cool compress on your head.
5. Some other options I found- Vitamin C, Fruit, Honey, Toast, and Sleep.



If none of these are an option, I would suggest watching a bad movie. It has helped me in the past. Some recommendations; Rescue Dawn, Annie, Miracle and St. Anna, Megan's Body, etc. Feel free to comment with any remedies of your own, and or bad movie recommendations. For now, Ill keep it to the shrubbery.
Keep it TIght