Marketing gone Mad

Thanks to our genius friends on Madison Avenue, we have now possibly the worst marketing idea to hit the streets since Digimon key chains.

In the Spring of 2010, MillerCoors introduced a new concept that they believed would revolutionize the "pour", the "chug" and the "dump beer on your passed our frat buddy". Its called the Vortex Bottle and it has - no way! - specially designed grooves. Supposed to create a more even flow of "that great pilsner taste" as it comes through the corkscrew bottle neck.

A bit like a ribbed Trojan condom, the interior of the bottle has grooves that resemble the barrel of a gun. Yes, thats right. The Miller Vortex bottle took drinking to THAT level.

The idea behind the stupidity is that the beer will actually get caught in what is known as the coriolis effect as gravity forces it to take a downward-centripetal force. This effect can be seen as a toilet bowl flushes or in an elementary classrooms with our favorite two-liter toy. Those things were flippin sweet!



Did MillerCoors actually expect us to chug for more than 3 seconds while spinning our bottle/heads in a circular motion to get maximum velocity? This is beer were talking here! Are we forgetting that the average college student hold onto a bottle of beer for, maybe, ten minutes? C'mon man, lets focus our attention on better things. Really.

I actually had the privilege of trying one of these out. As I purchased the 18-pack of bottle necks, I unintentionally grabbed the one that came equipped with such baggage. No wonder they were so cheap. Myself, as well as three other accomplices were mezmerized as we peered into the innovative neck appearance, all wondering how it would affect our consumption. Not one bit.

I've heard of some dumb ideas - I highly recommend you check them out for an absolute laugh -but I believe this one takes the cake. Clearly, some things are for some people and not others. But this has absolutely no affect on it whatsoever.

If you see a case at the liquor store, pick one up and try it. At least they're cheaper than normal bottlenecks.

Keep chugging my friends,

Abe Froman

Steve Berg-A Man's Man

Allow this to be the first of many profiles. Many of you may not be aware of Steve Berg's expertise.
He began his illustrious acting career by appearing on a short lived TV show called "Ronnie." His most recognized appearance on Ronnie came during a season 1 episode, "Who let the Nate Dog Out?"

Year of the Dog, Zoey 101, Las Vegas, Ghost Whisperer, and Gentlemen Bronco are all TV shows that Berg may have made an appearance on, according to IMBD. If those tv shows actually exist is the real question.


All of his cameos consisted of characters described as "Groupie, "Beer-Guzzling Guy," and "Delivery Man."
Mr. Berg's current career consists of his vocals in the band Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog.
These three videos, which brought me to loving Berg, need to be shared with the world. If there is anything that would encourage me to order a nice tall Mike's Hard, it is the genius of the Berganator.