The Fat (Ass) Sandwich

Among New Brunswick's claims to fame are: The Scarlet Knight's 2006 victory over Louisville, Donald Sutherland, and the Greece Trucks.

These mobile obesity advocates began in the 1980's with a limited menu selection that has since then, grown immensely. Their creation's began when a drunken individual, Darrell, stumbled up to the window and demanded some of the worlds most un-healthy items to be wrapped up in dough and dubbed the concoction the "Fat Darrell". Yum!

Ingredients:

• French Fries
• Chicken Fingers
• Mozzarella Sticks
• Marinara Sauce
• Lettuce & Tomato (to balance nutrition)
• Crack Cocaine

If that line up doesnt make you vom a tablespoon of your last meal into the back of your mouth, then youve probably had one before and possibly even enjoyed it. Shit, I know I have. (Eaten one, not the vom part)

Anyway, here's where most of the attraction comes from; if you are able to eat three of these suckers in under fifteen minutes, you not only get to coin the creation you have just concocted, but you can name it as well. Perffect market for drunk college students stumbling down College Ave at 3:00 am.

Americans, being the fattest basterds on the face of the earth, put that challenge to shame. Man Vs. Food's Adam Richman even attempted the feat but was turned down.

There are now over 24 official Fat Sandwiches. However, there are many unofficial ones, my favorite being the Fat Bitch, which has become dubbed as the Fat Beach for label purposes.

In reaction to this challenge being absolutely destroyed by upcoming classes of fat asses, the challenge has now upped to five sandwiches in under an hour. FIVE SANDWICHES! This is not only abnormal, its inhumane. We have become the culture that rewards our own ability to defy human nature; eating to the point of discomfort and then being pleased with a rewarding outcome. God Bless America.

Typical events that occur in the parking lot of the Greece Trucks:

• Indian "gangsters" trying to pick fights. Generally with no avail.
• A bare chested girl - did I mention this is a college town?
• Someone you know, want to know, or wish you hadn't known.
• Policemen sitting in cars idly. Serve and protect baby.
• Rafi Richman bumming cigarettes from anything with a heartbeat.

If your ever in the New Brunswick/Rutgers area, stop by theses truly unique trucks and if you dont order one of your own, at least stop to check out the scene, which should certainly be entertaining.

Your Fellow American,

Abe Froman